Monday, Monday.

7 Oct

For the past few days it seems that Matthew and I have been circling the topic of gratitude. When we were dating we required each other to report each day one thing/event that we were grateful for or, at very least, made us happy. Somehow and some way that routine disappeared and negativity has definitely crept into parts of our lives that it shouldn’t have.

That being said, Mondays are especially bad for me. I’m sure this is general consensus among most working people, but I truly love my job. My difficulty comes at 8:45 in the morning when I must leave Adeline at the Canter household. I know that she is well taken care of for the three (yes, only three) hours I am at work, but we, however, are absent from one another. That simple and small truth still makes this new mama’s heart ache. I hem and haw, find reason for a few more kisses, and am often almost late to work. If I leave her while she’s crying, I feel as though I am a deserter. If I leave her while she’s in good spirits, I feel as though I’m missing out on the best part of her. If I leave her while she sleeps, I fear that she will wonder where I am when she awakens.

(I’m getting to the gratitude, I swear.)

While I hate, hate, Mondays, I know that I would hate them much worse should we still live in Iowa. I cringe at the thought that I would habe been back to work full-time two weeks ago had the Lord not called us from our home to this new home in Wisconsin. How many giggles, diaper changes, and times of consolation would I have missed had Matthew not heeded this Call? This thought is what I’m most grateful for today.

But in my gratefulness for all the moments I DO have with Adeline, I meditate today on the crucifixion of our Lord Jesus Christ. I do not think, today, so much of His pain and suffering but that of His Father in Heaven. How much more terrible were those moments of separation from His Son than mine from my daughter, and all endured for us. What pain, what love.

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